Stephanie is forcing me to update...

...so here I am. First off, we had our last Friday at Ski Club this week. Last Friday I took myself out fairly early going over a jump and landing squarely on my rump, making walking, standing, sitting, and just about any other form of existence you can think of fairly painful. Well, I could still feel it a little on Friday, and it was pure ice. So what do I do but go ahead and try the same jump...and do the same thing...and make the same posterior injury even more of a pain in the rear (hahahaha...I make myself laugh). So I benched myself at about 6 p.m. with another 4 hours of skiing to go.

But some good did come of it. I was talking with Scott, one of the parents that was gracious enough to not only drive every week, but to take a truckload of hyperactive girls with him. Well, we naturally got onto the subject of how wonderful Ebay is, and he told me about how one time he just went through every category on Ebay. He then told me about some of the crazy things he saw in the category "Weird Stuff". So Saturday I decided to go through this section for a while just to see what was on it. Then I came across this strange mask that recognized from doing research into WWI gas masks.


Clearly this is not a gas mask. Far from it. This is a ridiculously rare WWI tank mask used to protect tank crewmen from hot metal shards that would ricochet about the cabin when bullets hit the tank. And when I say rare, I'm talking only a handful of museums in the world have one. Worth THOUSANDS. Well yeah, this guy had no idea what it was and had it labeled "old leather and chain mask'. So I ended up getting it for $82. Needless to say I am very excited.

And just because I didn't have a lot to update about, here is a picture of my dream bike. Beautiful is it not?




IN OTHER NEWS: ALIEN ROBOT COOKIE THIEF ON THE LOOSE!

Steph made some delicious Rice Crispy treats on Saturday, which were disappearing at an alarming rate. Stephanie, convinced it was me, scolded me, pointing viciously and said:

"You stole the cookie from the cookie jar!"

Being, of course, completely innocent, I promptly responded "Who me?"

She glared at me malevolently, "Yes, you!"

"Couldn't be!" I replied, bewildered at her accusation.

She mockingly and sarcastically replied "Then who?!"

An excellent question! So while Steph was at work to day, I held a stake out to catch the cookie thief! I had been holding my position for mere minutes when lo and behold, I caught this alien robot cookie thief with his hand in the cookie jar!


Feeling vindicated, I jumped from the shadows and took this one photo, which nearly cost me my life. The flash sent the alien robot cookie thief into a psychotic frenzy, and it started shooting his highly advanced Ray-o-Matic (patent pending) indiscriminately! I Narrowly avoided certain death by diving back into the computer room! Unfortunately, Ein was not as lucky as I, and he perished in the initial Ray-Zap (patent pending) inferno... :(

But now I was trapped. I realized the only way I could escape with my life was to not only allow the alien robot cookie thief to take the rest of the Rice Crispy Treats, but by also pointing out a few other tasty morsels which it had been, until that point, unaware of.

When Steph got home, I showed her this concrete photo evidence which clearly substantiates my story, and vindicates me from any wrongdoing. Despite this overwhelming preponderance of the evidence to support me, Stephanie continued to blamed me for the disappearance.

So I implore you, if you happen to see this shady character, please photograph it and send pictures. It would help if you managed to photograph it in the act of stealing your sweets.

Oh, and Ein was later miraculously raised from the dead. I'm sure he did it just to spite me and cast suspicion on my otherwise ironclad story...jerk.

Comments

That made me laugh on this cold morning :)
asdf said…
This must be some highly developed robot to don a neck tie. It goes against all the R&D suggesting that even if robots gained consciousness and intended to take over humanity and rice krispy treats, fashion would be tossed aside. Nay!
Kevin, it is possible the robot had set his phaser to 'stun', explaining the 'resurrection' of Ein.

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