An Update of Cosmic Porportions

Ok, so it has been a preposterously long time since we last updated this thing. My main excuse is that, as we did not have our own house to live in, I couldn't update as I didn't want to put a bunch of pictures on my in-laws computer, but if I'm honest with myself, I was just being lazy. But here it is! Rejoice, masses, for the Andersons have returned to the internet!

So the last time we updated, we had just returned from a nice vacation to Michigan for Tracie's wedding. While we were there, Stephanie applied for jobs, since the odds of me retaining my job at ACA were diminishing by the day (although to this day I have not received official notice of my termination, although it is clearly assumed). Well, she got it, and so two weeks after she got the job we were packed up and heading back to Michigan, for good.

But, before we left, our friends and various social circles held farewell parties for us. This was the general 'friends' party at the Wojo's house. It's weird. Life has been so hectic the past few months that I haven't really had time to process everything that's happened. But when I was uploading all the pictures from my camera to the computer tonight, and saw these, it hit me pretty hard all the friends that I left behind. I miss you guys, and I'm sorry I have been so horrible at communicating.




My last Men in the Making. Another event greatly missed. There was a lot of great wisdom shared at that table. This was actually the day we moved. Ate breakfast, headed back, finished loading the truck and hit the road. (By the way, please note Wojo's inability to keep his eyes open for 1/500th of a second. There were even two pictures of the men's breakfast...and yup...eyes closed in the other one too!)



Our first stop of any significance was, obviously, the Grand Canyon. We got there pretty late, so we could only make a few stops along the rim before sunset, but it was certainly a cool time to see it.

I attempted to use Jedi mind control to make Ein jump, and you can see he was about to take the fatal leap, but Stephanie used her own Jedi skills to sense my nefarious plot and put a stop to it. :(

And more pictures of the Grand Canyon.



Again, while it meant we could only stay for about an hour and a half, the sunset was very pretty.

That night we had some problems finding a hotel. The first town we stopped in, there was no room at the inn. Why does that sound familiar? Huh. Anyway, we didn't stop until probably 1:30 a.m. at this hotel on a Native American reservation. Ein was very popular, although he did not appreciate the attention in the least. Stuck up, snobbish little....should've jumped...

Colorado is one heck of a state.


I've always had a philosophy that if I'm going to be in a car, I might as well be driving (obviously the world conspired against my philosophy until I reached the age of 16). This is what I drove. I never relinquished control of the ship. Part of this is because this thing was not particularly fun to drive, and I didn't want to burden anyone else with it. Most of it was because of masculine pride. But overall, driving a big truck with a trailer 12+ hours a day on 6 or less hours of sleep a night four days straight is not a good idea. I was pretty grumpy most of the time.

In Colorado we stopped at Sasha and Tyler Logan's crib. I was quite alarmed at how swiftly Sasha is turning into one of those crazy pet people. Two dogs, fuzzy rat things, two lizards, a turtle (or did that die?)...pretty soon she'll be on one of those animal police shows. Just kidding, we had a great time getting some amazing pizza, and some equally amazing ice cream. And I don't even like Ice Cream that much.

Well, we arrived safely in Michigan, (Mom and Dad VM, thanks for all your help. The move would have been very difficult without you guys along to help) and I had about three days to get settled before I headed over to Ann Arbor for the wedding of one Kyle Rosander (Kyle, the spell check on this thing does not like your last name...but it doesn't have a problem with Abdul Akbar Muhammad. Apparently you're less American...). Despite that the wedding was not until Saturday, I went over early Thursday to assist in wedding preparations (I wasn't even an usher (see last post) and I was used as slave labor!)

One of the things we did, as sort of a bachelor party, was going canoeing.

It was a lot of fun, at least for me. Kyle and his partner...struggled. This was by no means an isolated event.

In fact, please note the expanse of river. Wide, no? Please note the bridge pylon. Narrow, yes? Somehow, Kyle managed to miss all that river, and hit that pylon dead on. I don't mean a grazing blow...I'm talking head on collision. I don't know how they managed to do that. It's like throwing baseball and not being able to hit the ground.

The dress rehearsal. Kyle and Sondra, the soon to be newly weds.

Alright, so this picture has nothing at all to do with a wedding, but it was to cool to leave out. Look carefully at the glass. What do you see? Hahahahaha. Oops. (this photo was taken at the Haags house, the wonderful couple who was kind enough to house Steph and I, along with several other wedding guests for the weekend).

The tall one in the middle...that's me. The slave labor that's not an Usher. I'm glad most of my friends are married now...

Yeah, I'm not in this picture. Steph wouldn't be too happy if I was.


The reception, followed by a long car drive back to Dorr.
For the sake of only spending three hours uploading pictures and writing all this, instead of five or six, I am going to skip a few events. Sorry. If you want to know everything...call.

After the wedding, Steph and I spent a lot of time looking for houses, and trying to get working. Neither pursuit was particularly successful for a few months. Work came eventually, although the subbing gig is neither fun nor consistent.

One interesting thing I must make note of before I get into the housing is that I am coaching 7th grade girls basketball at Calvin Christian. Yeah, there is no one in the world more unqualified than me, as I don't watch basketball, I haven't played organized basketball since 6th grade, and I have never coached a sport before in my life. But it's a lot of fun...most of the time. We had our second game today and we won..49-22. I felt kinda bad. We only had 7 girls, so I didn't even have a second string to put in to take it easy on them.

As for the housing thing, we actually began closing on a house in late October. It was an older house that needed a fair amount of work, but the land and barns were great. The problem came when we sat down with our mortgage broker to discuss the, you guessed it, mortgage. The house was 210,000, and our monthly payments would have been almost $1500 a month. That scared me a lot, so we kinda backed out and pursued one of the first houses we looked at, which honestly was our favorite all along, it's just it was a little further out. There's another drawback which we will get to later.

But, some basic info:
-Two Stories
-Walk out basement
-2400 sq. ft. (does not include basement which has finished family room and wet bar).
-Corner lot.
-6.1 Acres
-Located about two miles west of downtown Ionia.

Now, before we move on, this house is hard to grasp through pictures. Even when you're standing right in front of it, you don't realize how big it is. Let me try to put it into perspective for you. See the front door? See how small it looks? I promise, that door is just as big as your front door.

The back.

The Garage. Not pictured is an approx. 7x25 workshop attached to the back.

So the house has 6.1 acres, of which about four are where those trees are, which is on the other side of a nice stream. But it is the most irregular 6.1 acres ever. I can't even begin to describe it, not one solid 90 degree angle anywhere.


Tonight it was cloudy, and well lit, so I decided to take some night pictures of the place just for fun.

The front, again.


Side of the house from Main St. (we have a corner lot).




We also have some MASSIVE trees on our lot. We love em. The one below isn't even the biggest. Also notice that awesome light post.


Alright, onto the interior. I have to warn you, what you are about to see may be traumatic. The last time this house had a major remodeling was in that dismal blight of a decade known as the 70s. You will be subjected to gaudy floral wall paper, pink carpet, carpet in the kitchen, carpet in the bathroom, carpet on the handrails on the stairs, and wood which should not be painted, painted.

I recommend that small children be removed from the room before proceeding. Furthermore, by proceeding, the reader releases the author of this blog from any legally responsibility for any illness, nauseousness, blindness, ulcers, or any other medical malady that may result from the viewing of these pictures.

To help you on your journey, here is a floor plan. I made this in Paint, so it is by no means proportional, nor does it contain accurate measurements.

First, the first floor!

We are entering through the back of the house (that part that is aluminum siding in the picture...top 'covered porch' on the floor plan). This is a random entryway that I'm pretty sure used to be a porch. Before we continue our tour, keep an eye out for the light fixtures. With the exception of the chandelier in the dining room, they're all original gas lamps that were converted to electricity. Original to the house from when it was built in 1887.

Also, I must apologize for the mess, my mom took these our first day in the house, and I was too lazy to go and re-take pictures after things were put away.

So we are starting our tour in the covered porch by the kitchen at the back of the house.


This is the kitchen itself. It's very long and narrow (10x17). Needs to be remodeled.

Here and there in the house, like in the window, you will notice stained glass. The previous owner, who is still very much alive at the age of 93, made stained glass for a living.

Look at those tiles! The house even came pre dutch-a-fied for us! (In case you cant see, those are windmills). Also notice that hideous blue plastic counter. Ew.

Some of them there lamps I was telling you about. I have many a bump on my head from those things...
Ok, going from the kitchen, into the Dining Room. Notice the ornate door frames. The previous owner said that those large, rounded bits in the middle, which are on every door frame and window, are walnut, which is a very beautiful wood. SO WHY PAINT IT WHITE? The 70's are proof that Satan is alive and well in the world.



On the opposite side of the window in that abnormally large doorway is the door to the basement. Also note the woodwork below each window. Oh, and not that you can see it that well, but I made that coffee table in front of the chairs.


Here you are standing in the living room, looking into the dining room. The door you see in the dining room leads to the bathroom. The door on the right opens to the staircase which leads upstairs.

The far set of double doors there leads to what will be our library (or parlor). The front door is on the right.

We have cows across the street. Otto, my parents dog, enjoyed staring at them.

This is our library. Check out the awesome plaster medallion on the ceiling. I would love to paint it and get an antique chandelier to hang from it.

This is from inside the library. The door on the left used to go outside until they built that little covered porch. Now it's interior access to the entryway closet. Guess what kids! It's perspective time! To get an idea for how tall those doors are, look at where the door nobs are! I promise, they are the same height as any door nob in your house!

Alright, backtracking a bit, here is the main floor bathroom. It is huge, and it will be one of our first projects (Once we get that 8,000 tax credit for first time home buyers). Claw foot tub, watershed (a.k.a. drop box) toilet, walk in double headed shower...the works!


As you can see from that handy dandy blueprint, one rather awkward part about this is that, in order to get to the master bedroom, you have to go through the bathroom. This room was actually an addition built by the original owner for his mother in law.


The light in here is Steph and I's favorite. The wall paper...not so much.


That covers the first floor! On to the second! And here's another handy dandy floor plan for you!
They're a little hazardous, but I LOVE the curved staircase at the top. And please note the carpet on the handrail. See, I was not lying to you!


The landing. I also love that railing there.
Going to the bedrooms. Straight ahead is the largest of the three bedrooms upstairs, to the left is the medium bedroom, and to the right is a bedroom that was turned into a bathroom. As the house was built before the days of indoor plumbing and electricity, alot of that stuff is done improvisationally. We have, as of yet, only found one phone jack on the main floor, and that is in the master bedroom. That may not sound bad, but sound does not travel well through brick and plaster walls.


The medium bedroom. One cool thing (maybe the kids will hate it) is that all the bedrooms are connected by doors. That's one of the reasons Steph and I took the bedroom downstairs despite the whole go through the bathroom to get to it thing.


The biggest bedroom looking into what will be the nursery. (yeah...in case you haven't heard, Steph's pregnant. She is due June 26).

Another set of huge double doors leading from the large room to the medium. Again, note the location of the knobs.
Light fixture and another ceiling medallion.


You might have already noticed that most of the windows have those shutters. I love em.


What will be the nursery, with puke green carpet. Ghastly.


Upstairs bathroom. Again, huge because it used to be a bedroom. Unfortunately the shower head comes up to my belly button. And no, I am not exaggerating. Another renovation for down the road.Skipping around again, we are now proceeding to the basement. And never you fear, I have another floor plan for you!
Stairs going down. Must. Remove. All. The. Fake. Wood. Paneling.
Den in the basement. Fire place on the left, wet bar on the right. That's right. Red shag. Be envious.
Picture of rest of den from other side. Through the doorway you can see the door leading to the interior workshop. That thing is going to be a lifesaver in the winter (sorry, no pictures of it).

Also not pictured is the room between the den and the laundry room, which is currently filled with gas masks and Styrofoam heads in boxes.

We didn't know quite where to go with our fridge, since this place came with one nicer than ours...so it's in the middle of the floor right now which made taking pictures difficult. Anyway, you can see the light coming in from the door which is probably 8 feet past the fridge.



The basement bathroom. Just past the fridge and on the right. Heuker...want a toilet seat?

Alright, so in this post I have been (over) using the word perspective a lot. This is the last time I promise. This is one of the few pictures that does a decent job of showing how high the ceilings are in this place. No my father is not a midget. In fact, many of you might recognize the black leather chair he is sitting in. Yeah...they're stinking high. Oh, and that is also a slightly better picture of my coffee table!


So, now that we are at the end, or almost, I must tell you about the other downside of this house. We are right down the street, literally, from I-Max. No, I'm not worried that we're going to spend too much money at the theater, I'm talking about Ionia Maximum Security Prison.

You can see the outline of the handrails from our front covered porch on the left...that shows you how close it is. Actually, the building pictured is the old prison...now a...I always forget...rehabilitation center...something like that. The scary one with all the barbed wire is another mile or two away.


But to somewhat counterbalance the prison, we are no more than 1/2 a mile from the Ionia Recreational Facility (lots of biking, hiking, horse paths). Adding to the coolness is that to get to it we have to cross a railroad bridge (no longer used by trains) over the Grand River. Yeah, were super close to the Grand River. The buying of Kayaks is nigh! And Ionia itself is an awesome town (think downtown redlands with the old brick rowbuildings and really nice shops) and it's only about two or three miles from our house. The only problem with it is that, when we bought this house, I thought it was the coolest house ever. But then I drove towards town and saw several houses that are definitely cooler than ours. I'll take pics and post them on here sometime.

Ok, so I know this is not my finest post, but there was a lot to cover, and it is now 1:40 a.m. which means I have been working on this post for almost 5 hours.

But there is one more thing I have to say before I end it: Pray for Russ DeKock and his family.

Hope all is well in Redlands!
God bless,
Kevin and Stephanie